"Crazy' is a word which we throw around quiet casually."Are you crazy?", "This drives me crazy" are refrains that come to us quiet naturally. Crazy, mad, insane they have become an integrated part of our colloquial parlance. But have we ever thought what it is to be really crazy? I suppose none of us ever bother ourselves with such abstract thoughts like what it is to be to get stuck in one's mind, etc. Well, I have never thought about it. But recently I read a novel by John Green titled "Turtles All The Way Down". Plot wise it was not extra-ordinary, the story revolves around a high school girl, Aza Holmes and her life. But it is the portrayal of her character which stole all the limelight. Aza suffers from a mental condition called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). She is obsessed with the fear of contacting microbial infection. Saying it in one line seizes away all the complexities from the issue. And this is the problem, language is incapable of capturing the trauma, anguish of pain be it physical or mental. Still physical pain has an edge over mental pain, and it garners more attention and empathy/sympathy because of its visibility. The cause of anguish in physical pain is there for all to see which in turn increases its credibility. While mental problems are relegated to periphery because the sufferer appears to all in the pink of health. Aza could not choose her thoughts, in fact her thoughts overwhelmed her. In the book it is described that when the overwhelming thoughts came upon her she used to feel herself trapped in a tightening spiral with no way out. It is very scary to read how she felt trapped in her own body and pleaded to let her out. Isn't it unnerving to see someone pleading for letting them out of their own body, well this is what mental illness is. The book also discusses how is it for the friends and family of the person with mental illness. Aza has this really supportive best friend Daisy but even Daisy sometimes tend to give up on Aza despite loving her with all her heart. Sometimes it gets too frustrating and annoying to cope with Aza, and this is when Daisy vents her feelings through the character of Ayala in her Star Wars fan fiction. Daisy fails to comprehend how one can be so stuck inside one's head so as to obliterate everyone around them. She rues the fact that Aza never cares to ask about her life, how is she doing, basically the normal daily stuff that one would expect from their friends. I wouldn't call Daisy insensitive, rather she does not understand what Aza is going through. I feel somehow we all are Daisy. It is very easy to sympathize with people suffering from mental illness, but to empathize with the them is the real challenge, and I am sure we all would give up at some point of time regardless of our love for the person, simply because we cannot understand them. Such people appear to be so self-centered and even narcissistic that we give up on them. It really pained me to read how Aza struggles to have a "normal" relationship with Davis whom she loved but it wasn't that glorified love which we read about that can can conquer any obstacle. In her case it couldn't, and this is how it works in real life. The novel introduces us to another character, Noah Pickett who is as broken and anguished as Aza because of the sudden disappearance of his father. Their agony maybe different but the essence of that agony is same, the feeling of being trapped in one thought. Though Aza empathizes with Noah but there is nothing much for her to do. Because we really cannot understand what a person is actually going through.
The novel struck a chord in my heart due to its simplicity and credibility. The fact that the novel doesn't end with "And they lived happily ever after" lends to its credibility, because that's not how it works in real life. There is no absolute obliteration of mental illness, there are good days there are troublesome days and this is how the wheel of life rolls on. John Green perfectly captures this reality and this renders credibility to his novel and the characters. I am sure the novel is going to stay with me for a long time because it made me realize to be a little more kind to everyone as everyone is struggling with their own demons, albeit the intensity of the struggle differs. Lastly, I would say that the novel perfectly captures what Robert Frost once said, "Life goes on" no matter what.
Comments
Post a Comment